BoyChat FAQ as of November 1999

The FAQ in November, 1999:

Frequently Asked Questions relating to FreeSpirits: BoyChat.

FAQ maintained by not.

1. Who are these people posting here?

2. Can I be here?

3. Are there risks in posting here?

4. Is it ok to use my real name?

5. Are there restrictions on what I can post?

6. How long can my message be?

7. Are they all talking another language?

8. I can't find my message!

9. Who runs this place?

10. Why are posts hostile to BoyLove allowed here?

11. Is it safe to contact people here personally?

12. Can I send private e-mail to a poster?

13. How do I get anonymous e-mail?

14. I just want to chat with somebody!

15. Can I post pictures/fiction?

16. What are the URL and link boxes for?

17. Can I try out some HTML here?

18. Can I link to here from my home page?

19. I didn't post that!

20. Have people from here gone to jail?

21. Where can I get more information?

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Questions and Answers

Who are these people posting here?

They are a representative portion of the male population from teens to quite old who, for reasons

beyond their comprehension, share the single bond of having a particular affinity for teen and/or

pre-teen boys. In most cases this encompasses a clearly sexual attraction, plus an ability to relate to

boys in an almost magical way. Many choose not to act upon their sexual attraction, while others

strongly advocate boys' freedom to choose. Most of those posters accept the label 'boy lover',

which is often abbreviated to 'BL' or 'BLr'. Some posters are or were boys who love older men, and

we always have a few posters who do not identify as boy lovers, and who range from supportive to

hateful. An increasing number of posters use a picture of themselves when they were young as

their personal signature.

1. Can I be here?

The short answer is a definite yes. Boy Chat is an open forum. However it is primarily a forum for

mutual support of males, young and old, who are especially attracted to boys. As such it can also

be useful to any people who need to better understand boy love. Teens are most welcome to

participate, but we encourage teens to be aware of a couple of extra points before they start

posting. Younger teens in particular, may find other forums to be more useful to them.

2. Are there risks in posting here?

The worst risks are not specific to Boy Chat, but are part and parcel of risks inherent in use of the

Internet for anything confidential, together with the risks of becoming known as a boy lover. It

takes considerable expertise to find out anything about an individual poster from the logs that are

automatically kept by Web servers. These logs are only available to the server administrators and

the Boychat administrators, who purge the logs as frequently as possible. It would take a court

order for anyone else to legally access the logs. However, there is no way we can stop you

inadvertently revealing your own identity through something you post here. You should also be

aware that your browser keeps records of sites you have visited; that, in some jurisdictions, some

of what is posted here could be construed as illegal speech; and that your very participation here

could conceivably be used as evidence against your character.

3. Is it ok to use my real name?

Unless you are seeking public recognition in your real name, you should always use a nickname.

From time to time persons who are openly hostile to boy lovers post here and more of their kind

probably lurk here. One reason that Boy Chat is so popular is that the Web Board structure

provides such a simple means for effective anonymity. Even posters who are "out" in their private

life or who are here only as sympathisers, not as boy lovers, generally opt for the protection of a

"nick". And using a consistent nick enables your personality as a poster to develop in ways that

enrich the Boy Chat community and make it easier to give support.

4. Are there restrictions on what I can post?

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You should firstly keep in mind that Boy Chat is meant to be a supportive, safe, creative and fun

forum for boy lovers to discuss their thoughts and feelings, sometimes not even related to boy

love. However, seven simple rules are listed on the "Post a New Message" and below where you

post a response to another message. The detailed interpretation of these rules has developed over

time to reflect the wishes of the Boy Chat community, so posts which "test" the rules will usually

elicit a caution, while more flagrant breaches will be acted upon immediately. Some rules are to

help avoid excessive expansion of the main index file. There is a definite limit of 36 characters in the subject field and strong discouragement of posts which say little of substance.

5. How long can my message be?

Technical considerations mean that very short or empty messages are a bad thing. It is equally

wasteful to post something that is so long that nobody will bother to read it. So the answer is

somewhere in between. Graphical browsers generally allow you to scroll to any length in the

message window, and it is generally easy to paste in text that you have written (and spell checked)

in your word processor. However browsers such as Lynx may only have a fixed size text entry box

which gives you a define limit.

6. Why are they all talking in another language?

Boy Chat is somewhere near the top of the heap when it comes to posters prepared to experiment

with forms of expression. Poetry, philosophising and cryptic conversations abound, especially

within sub-groups who have built up strong relationships. But if you are looking for a direct

response, plain English is the best starting point. While Boy Chat is nominally in English, it is not

unknown for French, German, Italian, Portugese, Russian or Spanish threads to develop.

7. I can't find my message!

If you just posted it, you may need to Reload or Refresh the index which is otherwise retrieved

from your cache. Later, it is likely that it will have been moved to Old Posts. Because of the

amount of traffic on Boy Chat, the main index is trimmed at least once a day, with the trimmed

threads being added to the to of Old Posts. Old Posts and its subsidiary pages contain one to two

months of older posts, a tiny proportion of which are selected to be preserved in monthly Boy Chat

Digest. If you still cannot find your post, there are a couple of other possibilities:

if you posted a response around the time the old board was trimmed, there might not be a

link in the main index nor the Old Posts index, but your message is likely to be linked inside

the thread, in which case you might want to repost a pointer on the new board

if your post was in a thread that is considered to be taking up more of the index than it

warrants, then the thread may have been "collapsed" so only the thread starter appears in the

index. A link to your post will still appear inside that thread starter post.

if your post was in breach of the seven rules, or was in a thread that was in blatant breach, it

may have been deleted.

8. Who runs this place?

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Administration of BoyChat and other FreeSpirits sites is handled by a volunteer Steering

Committee and financed by contributions. Jimf3 has generously allowed his name to be on record

as responsible for our domain name, and so has a final say in areas which may involve personal

risk. Jim and the Committee became involved at the time we were asked to relocate from Digiweb

at the end of a long stable period under Sean007's unobtrusive leadership. Sean007 was the third

host of Boy Chat, having followed on from Kasper (who founded "Free Spirits") and Jongen.

9. Why are posts hostile to BoyLove allowed here?

FreeSpirits believes it is important to keep the board as open as possible. There is a strong body of

opinion opposed to replying to blatant attacks. But there are also many important points made by

people responding to hostile posts. If you do not like the tone of the board, the best way to do

something about it is to start your own thread.

10. Is it safe to contact people here personally?

Not all of the people who post to Boy Chat are boy lovers or supportive of boy love, so ultimately

this must be your decision. There is no doubt that we have been visited by vigilantes asking for

personal contact in attempted sting operations, and by others impersonating a boy lover who just

intend mischief. But in such cases alarm bells are likely to ring quickly. There is also no doubt that

there are real boy lovers behind most of the regular nicks. However, we have our differences and

you should take your time to build a relationship in cautious steps and not invest in unwarranted

expectations.

11. Can I send private e-mail to a poster?

This board is not intended to be used as a substitute for e-mail. So, if you are comfortable about a

poster's identity, and his nickname appears highlighted as a link at the top of his message, that

shows he has provided an e-mail address. Clicking on that link in many browsers will drop you

into an e-mail form automatically addressed to that poster. But beware. Do you want to provide an

anonymous poster with the address that you use for your regular e-mail? Remember your normal

e-mail address will appear automatically in the From and Reply to spots unless you configure your

browser to provide a more anonymous address.

12. How do I get anonymous e-mail?

Many posters have obtained GoPlay or similar accounts which require you to visit a Web page to

check your e-mail, and which can be made reasonably anonymous by making up the details you

use to fill in their application form. However views differ about the reliability and convenience of

various services, so you might want to take a look yourself at a range of services on offer for

anonymous and pseudonymous e-mail.

13. I just want to chat with somebody!

The nature of Boy Chat is for responses to posts to come at any time over the next 24 hours or

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more, so it is not suited to real time conversation, although at times a couple of simultaneously

connected posters will achieve a rough approximation by frequent reloading. This is generally

frowned upon because of the resources it uses. The webmaster has been known to temporarily

block people's ability to post if they consistently attempt to engage in real time chat on Boy Chat.

Internet Relay Chat is much better suited to such purposes, although some find it a little less civil

than Boy Chat.

14. Can I post pictures/fiction?

Do not even think about using Boy Chat as a place for exchanging pictures, nor to post fictional

writing. Boy Write is a site maintained for archiving non-pornographic stories and poems. Your

materials will be very welcome there. This restriction is not because Boy Chat is pro-censorship,

even the subject of child pornography elicits a range of opinion here. It is because our support role

is too valuable to be compromised by the kind of attention that pornography would bring. The only

pictures allowed inside posts are our Safe Sig Pix. The only justifiable reason for posting a link to

a picture is if it is genuinely to the content of your post.

15. What are the URL and link boxes for?

Posters who have boy love-related home pages frequently include the link to their page by putting

its short description and URL in the boxes provided which show up as an active link next to a

solitary bullet at the bottom of their posts. This facility is equally useful if your post refers to

something you have found on the Web or if you want to link to a post which has been consigned to

Old Posts. You must use the full form of the URL, starting with "http://" for it to be recognised as

valid.

16. Can I try out some HTML here?

This is not intended to be a place to learn HTML. However as long as posters who know HTML

use it appropriately to enhance the appearance of their posts, and close their tags and quotes, it will

probably remain enabled. A link to another Boy Chat post can be provided in the body of your

message by using ... with the actual post number substituted for the

"99999" part. Other appropriate uses of HTML include citing quoted text and creating distinctive

personal signatures. You can check how your HTML will look by using the preview option before

posting ... which you really should so any time you make extensive use of HTML. One of our

regulars has prepared a Guide to HTML (and IRC/ICQ) which can be a big help.

17. Can I link to here from my home page?

Boy lovers usually first find Boy Chat through pointers from friendly pages, so the short answer is

yes. However, for your own protection, you probably should never mix your implicit admissions

about boy love with anything which reveals other aspects of your life. So, if you want to point to

Boy Chat, you should do it from a page which cannot be readily traced back to your real life

identity. You should also be aware that a tiny group of vociferous vigilantes have been

disproportionately successful in getting some Web hosting services to delete boy love pages.

18. I didn't post that!

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If another post appears under your nick it most likely means that you are the victim of an impostor

whom we suffer from time to time. The first time it happens, the best thing you can do is to post a

simple "not me" message. The worst thing you can do is react in such a way that marks you a

target for the impostor's amusement. Regular posters usually become so distinctive that others will

immediately notice and note an impostor. Safe Sig Pix have a secondary benefit of effectively

guaranteeing the identity of the poster.

19. Have people from here gone to jail?

Quite a few posters have at some stage of their lives been incarcerated or at least subject to legal

action over alleged breaches of age of consent laws and some related matters. Some have gone to

jail since starting to post here which is a real downer for everybody. At least one appears to have

had the charges against him fabricated after he repeatedly advertised his real name and address

here.

20. Where can I get more information?

Definitional questions about the nature of boy love and of the hostility directed against it are an

ongoing feature of the discussions on Boy Chat and the subject of extensive writings on boy

lovers' Web pages. The boy loving community has a strong presence on the Internet and our

associated Boy Links page maintains a comprehensive list of links to those resources.

21. Appendices

For Teen Posters

Several of our regular and respected Boy Chat posters are teenagers who identify as lovers of younger

boys. However other teens who started posting have encountered a range of obstacles, although these

have tended to diminish with time as a "benefit of the doubt" philosophy has become more accepted.

The first obstacle was disbelief that the poster was as young as they claimed, often because the poster

was more literate than some could accept for the age indicated, and this mistrust was fuelled from time to

time by isolated cases of posters claiming to be young and later revealing themselves to be much older.

The second obstacle has been the concern of some that Boy Chat should be just for men who love boys

and that there should be no younger partners posting. This has been bridged considerably by the number

of teens and sometimes much older posters who have identified as both boy lovers and being the grown

boys of boy lovers, while the boys' perspective has become more actively sought by others.

The third question has been that some teen posters have been testing the waters as they have tried to

work out their own sexuality, in some cases eventually finding the various Internet forums for gay teens

to be more appropriate for them.

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The fourth potential problem has been the potential risks to boys who come openly to such a forum

seeking contacts with men. While wonderful support has been given to some who have needed to talk to

an older male, there is always the risk that some who lurk or even post here may be so desperate that they

will seize any opportunity to pursue the possibility of such contact. This problem has the corollary that

some will see a sting operation behind any boy who even hints to be looking for a man.

The fifth issue is that boy lovers in their teens may be even more vulnerable than older boy lovers to

attacks by the enemies of boy love, both because they may not have learnt as many lessons about

self-protection and because they are likely to still be in a position of dependence on potentially hostile

parents.

The sixth caution is tha young posters should be especially careful not to include personal information in

their messages that might reveal clues to their real-life identity or location. BoyLove opponents have

been known to use these clues to locate and contact young posters in order to harass them. Links to

homepages and inclusion of traceable e-mail addresses are especially dangerous in this regard.

The Seven Rules

You may click on any rule to read its detailed interpretation.

1. No erotica.

2. No requests for explicit or questionable material.

3. No blatant flames, excessive profanity, or insults.

4. No "me too" or "cool, dude" messages.

5. No overly detailed or prurient sexual discussions.

6. No "You're a bunch of perverts" messages.

7. No requests to meet boy participants in Real Life.

Flagrant repeat offenders may forfeit their right to post.

Internet Anonymity

One critical factor in determining the level of anonymity you can achieve on the Internet is whether you

have a static or a dynamic I.P. Number. If you use a fixed permanent connection to the Internet, most

likely through your work, then you will have a "static IP" which can be traced straight back to your

machine. But if you have a dial up account you will have a "dynamic IP" which can only be traced to

your service provider and, the larger they are, the more difficult it becomes to identify you. You should

be aware that your IP is identified in HotMail message headers and when you are on IRC.

There are various ways around this potential problem, and several alternate providers of relatively

anonymous e-mail. Spike's highly regarded advice on anonymity is on his FPC site.

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Safe Sig Pix

Even semi-regular posters are encouraged to have their own signature picture which serves a secondary

purpose of guaranteeing the poster's identity.

Safe Sig Pix are managed by not.

To give you your own Safe Sig Pic, you need to provide two things:

either a picture file of your normally much younger self or a graphics file. Nothing too revealing

nor in breach of copyright. We have a 10K size limit and do our best if we need to reduce the size

of the image you provide.

your "sig-marker" word. Think of a word (or any string) that's easy for you to remember, but

which you wouldn't type in a message. Also it shouldn't be an important password since through

an error it could possibly show up. (If that ever happens, just pick and send in a new one). For

example you might could use something as simple as 12345 as your word.

If you want any other text/HTML to automatically appear with, alongside or below your pic, just

include the details in your request.

After you e-mail the necessary information, you will be notified as soon as it set up ready for use, which

may take a few days.

Once it is set up, when you post under your usual nick and include your sig-marker inside the message,

your sig-marker will be replaced by your picture. It's that easy. You can just sign the message by using

your sig-marker at the end, or you can type whatever you wish under (or beside) your sig-marker and

what you type will appear under (or beside) the picture. If you want to check what it looks like before

you sign a post with it, just use the Preview button.

Frequent posters may be allowed to also use an alternate sig pic. The normal way to activate an alternate

sig pic is to add a blank space at the end of the poster's nick (in the nickname box) and to use the same

sig-marker as with their normal sig pic.

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See also

Not (boylover)