Pedophilia: Two different worlds

NOTE: This is an archived copy from the web site of the (now defunct) Danish Pedophile Association. Political and social pressures grew so strong as the Danish media promoted "pedohysteria" to the public that the members--the vast majority of whom were law-abiding citizens who merely wished to meet, provide counseling services for those in need, and to exercise their right to free speech--eventually feared for their own safety, and decided to disband their organization. Hell's Angels-type organizations, of course, are still allowed to form associations and to meet openly and regularly. But those who believe that young people are sexual beings, and that young people should have the right to choose whom they wish to associate with (even if a young person wishes to associate with an adult who may find the young minor person attractive, emotionally and/or sexually) are now prohibited from forming organizations in Denmark.

The left-hand column is "the party line" (often put forth by radical feminists, and highlighted in the media) about "evil pedophiles". The right-hand column describes how BoyLovers actually experience their relationships. And, yes, the two views are worlds apart!

Two different worlds
Sexual abuse of children	Pedophilia with erotic-sexual contact (if any)
1. Violence, threat of violence, deception, blackmail (emotional), assault and rape.	1. Spontaneity and friendship, enjoyed together.
2. The child feels that it is impossible to withdraw from the sexual activity. The child wants it to stop, but the adult obstruct this. Abuse of power and other intimidation makes abuse over a long period possible.	2. The child can withdraw at any moment according to its desire. The adult respects the child's wish and does not blame the child for its decision.
3. The lust of the adult is the only criterion. The erotic needs of the child are ignored. The child is a passive partner and a sex object.	3. Interplay on a personal and (perhaps) sexual level. The sexual activity, if any, is geared to the child's psycho-sexual level. The adult joins the child in its sexuality.
4. Secrecy is enforced. The feelings of shame of the child are exploited. If the sexual activity is discovered, the child is made to feel guilty, even though he/she was actually unwilling to engage in the sexual activity.	4. Trying to be as open as is possible in morality and environment. Well-being is verbally and non-verbally expressed to each other during the relationship.
5. Oppressive atmosphere, no feelings of safety and intimacy.	5. One aims at an atmosphere which is as safe as possible.
6. The relationship is not equivalent. With respect to upbringing or education, there is repression, authority or manipulation.	6. The aim is to create an equal partnership. In the case of a continuing relation it develops to friendship.
7. The adult is not interested in the child as a person, at most only as an occasional sex object.	7. The adult expresses interest in the child's world. There is common ground, even if the contact is only a single event.
8. There is little common ground. The child is consciously isolated from others, also from peers. The adult lays a claim to the child.	8. There is a space for a youth culture and contact with others. Interests are shared.
9. No open communication; all emotional expression is suppressed.	9. The aim is more space to express emotions. Power is balanced. Child and adult share the power.
10. In institutions love and attention are sparse; in these cases there is a greater chance that the children will become fixated on sexuality by the adults.	10. The adult has a real interest in the sexual feelings of the child. He wishes to join at the child's level. The relationship is a valuable supplement to the child's life.
11. The child has feelings of fear and aversion. One can see the child is asking for help.	11. Happy feelings are prevalent. Sometimes, however, the child feels unease because of the generally accepted morality. Yet the child tries to express positive feelings within the environment.

(NOTE: Some minor orthographic errors in the original have been corrected by this Editor.)

See also

• (to be added)