User:User4/DRAFT/Save our children from the abnormfoodexuals!
There are two kinds of foodexuals - normfoodexuals, and abnormfoodexuals. Normfoodexuals, who make up the vast majority of normal people, naturally eat the correct kinds of food, and in the correct ways. Abnormfoodexuals, on the other hand, due to their sick and perverted ways of thinking, are controlled by their evil desires -- they crave the wrong kinds of food, and eat foods the wrong ways. They are a great danger to all of us -- abnormfoodexuality leads our young people into becoming misfits, perverts, and criminals!
From Wikidpedia:
Normfoodexuality is the consumption of foods that benefit health and build good character. Normfoodsexuality is the form of foodexualtiy naturally acceptable within society. Psychiatrists classify abnormfoodexuality as a foodophilia, which requires psychological treatment according to the DSM-5. Foodophilias are perversions of the normal food-consumption behaviors.
Brain studies have found that foodophiliacs possess an abnormal quantity of "white matter" in their brains. Studies by Dr Hocen of confirmed foodophiliacs have also demonstrated a strong correlation with left-handedness, low intelligence, and short stature.
Furt Kreund studied Deviant Foodexual Arousal patterns, and developed the "abdominal plethysmograph," which measures differences in arousal patterns between normfoodesxuals and abnormfoodexuals using the Assessment for Foodexual Interest. One of his students, Dr Babel, of the the Toronto Research Institute for the Study of Foodexuality, has studied hundreds of abnormfoodexuals and has determined that abnormfoodexuals are highly aroused when shown videos of abnormal food consumption.
Though foodophiliacs are resistant to treatment, Cognitive Behavior Therapy has been found somewhat effective in treating foodophilia and abnormfoodexuals, and research is continuing into the causes and treatment of these serious psychological disorders.
One of the greatest threats to civilization today are the chinafoodexuals. Chinafoodexuals are abnormfoodexuals -- they eat rice and noodles, and they use chopsticks, unlike we normfoodexuals, who eat bread and potatoes, while using a knife, fork, and spoon.
We must never allow the abnormfoodexuals to seduce our young into their wicked and evil ways. Once a child is introduced to abnormfoodexuality, he or she can never go back to being a normfoodexual. The child's life will be ruined, and his or her soul destroyed forever!
We must all join together to protect our children against the abnormfoodexuals. The abnormfoodexuals have, little by little, been undermining our society. Every day you see more and more abnormfoodexuality on television, where they flaunt their perverted practices in the face of the normfoodexuals! More and more restaurants are being taken over by abnormfoodexuals, who are little by little insinuating themselves into our communities, destroying our young, and taking over our lives!
The evil abnormfoodexuals, obsessed with their grand conspiracy to take over the world, are working to undermine the very basis of our great society. Normfoodexuality is part of our great American heritage and traditions -- Motherhood, the Flag, and Apple Pie! The very future of our families depends on normfoodexuality! The Fathers of our country were all normfoodexuals, and would turn in their graves if they saw what is happening to our constitutionally protected right to normfoodexuality!
Abnormfoodexuality must be stopped! We need laws to promote normfoodexuality, and outlaw abnormfoodexuality. The abnormfoodexual monsters must be prevented from destroying our great society!
Write to your Congressman today, and demand that he take action!
Our children must be protected from this threat to their safety and well-being!
Remember -- if we can just save one child!
